Ostara is a celebration of the Goddess' rise from the underworld, refreshed and renewed as the Maiden of Spring. On the Vernal Equinox the equal day and night tips the balance towards light and life and Spring speaks to our soul in messages of hope, of growth, and new possibilities. As the Earth quickens, so does something within us. For me, the warmth of Spring can't come soon enough.

One of my favorite online Ostara references has always been Christina Aubin's post at Witches' Voice. Christina writes about all of the Sabbats with tremendous authority and knowledge about the lore, symbology, practices and spiritual significance that bring meaning to each turn of the Wheel.

On the subject of balance, Christina says:

Spring Equinox is also celebration as well as a practice of balance. For it is not quite Spring and yet not quite winter, it is the time when we are perched magically between the two seasons. The trees and plants are stirring with renewed life, and yet we still receive the March wintry storms. It is a time to remember our balance in the greater scheme of things, we are an important part of all that happens around us, our actions and inactions, our deeds and not, all have effect on the Earth, Her people, and the Universe. So it is the time of the year when we understand our need to walk in balance with the Universe much more clearly.

Of course, the observance of any equinox has to do with balance. As we are experiencing a time of equal day and night, spiritually and philosophically we turn to ideas of how to achieve balance in our lives. Whatever this means for each of us, Ostara is one of those times of the year when there is significant energy to support whatever work we feel the need to do. Are we balancing work and home? Are we balancing personal priorities with those of our relationships to others? Are we balancing inward looking with outward acting? Hecate's Ostara post addresses this issue quite eloquently.

Among the bases for the Wiccan Sabbat of Ostara is the tradition of planting the seeds that will later become the bounty of the harvest. On this aspect of Ostara, Christina Aubin also writes:

Seeding, of course, has a multi-level meaning, for the seeds we plant can be on the soil of our Being as well as the soil of the earth. It is the time after the final harvest of fields and of self during Samhain, the contemplation during the fallow periods of winter, to plant the new seeds given from our experience, pondered and understood. A time to begin to create new life, from the seeds of experience past. A life rich in the wisdom of experience past, brimming with the promise of times future.

On the issue of seeding I have been thinking lately that I'm feeling pretty sapped and, instead of planting any new seeds, maybe I need to lie fallow for a while, to let the "soil" of my being heal a little bit before I ask it to support the growth of anything new.

Although I haven't officially started training in the Feri Tradition, and now whether or not I will has been a question I've been asking myself, I have been doing lots of work and reading to prepare myself to embrace this new path, and my frame of reference on a number of matters magickal is starting to shift, including how I perceive the significance and observance of the Sabbats. I looked back on my preparations for Ostara in years past and found that I am in a very different mood this year. Perhaps it has more to do with what's going on with my life than what's going on with my practice of the Craft, but it is interesting and worth noting how Ostara's approach feels to me now.

Karina, my teacher-to-be and founder of the Blackheart Feri line, offers A Feri Perspective on the Wheel Year, in which she says:

If your natural tendency is to withdraw during the Springtime, it won't do you much good to try to do manifestation work then, will it? If Samhain is a time of deep creativity for you, does it make sense to try to force yourself into silence? What we are seeking is a marriage of sorts—between what our own natural rhythms dictate and what the energies of the Earth and Sky are bringing forth at anytime on the Wheel Year. This way, we both embody and ride the Wheel. This way, we both engage and become the Gods of our own mythology.

It's true that right now my most powerful inclination is to retreat a bit - if not literally then certainly spiritually - when everyone else around me is celebrating an acceleration of energy and the sprouting of newness. It's refreshing to discover a point of view that tells me it's okay if I want to be quiet now and full of excitement at Samhain.

As I consider another perspective on the turning of the Wheel, I also find it interesting that two of my favorite spiritual bloggers have recently addressed the idea of creating one's own mythology. Slade Roberson writes about Spinning Your Story and Dianne Sylvan writes that The Rest is Still Unwritten. Is it coincidence that they, and I, in this season of new and renewed life, are turning our thoughts to personal mythology and questions of whether or not the story we have been telling ourselves is even relevant any more?

Again I turn to Christina for wisdom:

The Vernal Equinox also serves to remind us that there are times when we must individually "clean house" in order to maintain fertile ground, clear out our outdated conceptions and misconceptions, our grievances and hurts, our self-perceived many times self-inflicted wounds, regrets of our past actions and inactions, our grudges and resentments, our inability to forgive others and ourselves. By clearing house we create the room for new experiences, new understandings, new hope and new joy that would elude us had we not cleared the way and made room for them to occur.

I've been doing a lot of "cleaning house" lately and all of that work has left me wiped out. This Ostara finds me at a place somewhere in between the old life I cleared away and the point at which the space I have created becomes refilled with something new. I'm not quite ready for the seeds of my new story to take root - I'm not sure I know yet exactly what they are. Even so, I'm not without hope. I am starting to manifest some growth in my personal business. I look forward with eager anticipation to the day when I can put away my winter layers to go out in light, Spring clothes, feeling the warmth of the Sun and the freshness of the Spring breeze.

Perhaps for a bit, the balance we experience at Ostara will remain as a kind of state of limbo for me, until I'm ready to truly tip toward the next direction. I have faith that everything will come in its time. Now, if it would just hurry up already . . .

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 3:27 PM