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May 23, 2006

Crisis of Faith

My teacher has described spells as a witch's prayers. They are active, and directed with intent and personal will, but as a means to place a spell within a spiritual context that someone who doesn't know anything about Wicca can understand, it is a useful analogy. There are petition spells, wherein you ask the gods and/or goddesses to deliver something to you or to manifest something for you. There are as many types of spells as there are needs to be fulfilled, just as, I'm sure, there are many types of prayers uttered by those of Christian or other faiths. What does one do then, when prayers go unanswered? When our spells do not work?

In the text we are using in my class to learn spell craft there is a list of reasons why a spell may not work. These include an improperly worded spell, or a poor choice of time and lunar or planetary energy, and other practical issues of this nature. But there is also the issue of the spell not serving our highest good. When we cast a spell, we say to the gods/goddesses that we ask that it be for our highest good, harming none. This includes ourselves. But when we have been working magick toward a particular goal, in many forms for many months, with strongly directed will and carefully chosen words and a deeply heartfelt desire to make our will manifest, and yet our spells still do not work, what are we to accept as the reason?

This is something that I am experiencing at the moment. My magick has been for something deeply personal that is very important to me. Since the full moon before Ostara I have been pouring all of my energy into one particular goal. I have meditated on it, I have worked different sorts of spells, I have made offerings to gods and goddesses, I have practiced wishcraft and visualization. My teacher tells us that intent is more important than perfection of a spell. My intent has been focused and full of conviction. Even so, I have been conscientious about how I have worked my magick. And yet, I have failed. For me this represents the first intense crisis of faith since I have begun this spiritual path.

Am I a bad witch? Is it that what I'm trying to manifest is not for my highest good? And is that just something we tell ourselves so that when our spells don't work there is an explanation other than that magick simply doesn't work? Among all of the questions I am struggling to answer for myself tonight, these are weighing heavily on my mind.

What do we do in a crisis of faith?

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 10:19 PM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2006

Full Moon in Scorpio

Get ready folks - tomorrow is a Full Moon in Scorpio.

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While Scorpio energy is often misunderstood, the moon in Scorpio is definitely a time of strong passions and intense feelings. People can get aggressive, critical, impatient and moody. It's a good time to beware of jealousy and take a forgive-and-forget attitude about interactions with others since everyone is feeling hyper sensitive. Scorpio energy brings us power and pyschic ability. It teaches us the lessons both of having power and desiring power and can be a time of powerful self-transformation. Scorpio is also associated with sex. It is good to be cautious when interacting with the opposite sex during a moon in Scorpio, however it could be a good time for an intense merging with another on a deep emotional level. And remember, all of this energy is intensified right now by the moon being full!

The May full moon is often referred to as the Milk Moon, Hare Moon or Flower Moon. It is The Witches' Moon and is a moon full of balance. In Celtic traditions this moon corresponds to love, healing, protection and fertility.

This full moon also marks Vesak, or Buddha Day, so sometimes this moon is referred to as the Vesak Moon. Vesak is the most important festival in Buddhism. On the first full moon day in May, Buddhists all over the world celebrate the birth, enlightenment and death of the Buddha. The name "Vesak" comes from the Indian month of that name in which it is held.

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 10:49 AM | Comments (0)

May 9, 2006

Dreams

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Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Langston Hughes (1902–1967), U.S. poet and author. “Dreams,” (1941).

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 5:18 PM | Comments (1)

May 7, 2006

Notes from the Blogosphere

As I bopped around reading my favorite blogs tonight, a few things struck me particularly enough to want to share. Random, I'll admit, but I'm feeling a bit unloosed this weekend so my thoughts are taking me in many places.

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Thanks to my friend and kindred spirit, Cosmic Debris, for her thoughts on Art and Activism (and from whom I've nicked this lovely picture). She reminds me that I should be both making more art and being more active to bring change for the better to the world around me. Be sure to stop by her lovely blog, Moondancer Dreams.

Pastor Dan at Street Prophets did his weekly Brothers and Sisters post. This one helped remind me that as bad as I may feel about things that may be happening in my life, I am still very, very fortunate and there are many things for which I should feel grateful. This seems to be a message I was meant to get because part of the class reading I was doing today included Christopher's thoughts and instruction on daily devotionals - the witch's version of prayer, if you will. He says of all the things we should do every day is to have a sense of thankfulness for all that we have.

You may notice a post in Dan's story by Quotefiend, one of the pagan participants at Street Prophets. I'm always heartened by the community there, where people from many spiritual paths come together out of love and respect for each other.

It's been a difficult and emotionally trying weekend for me. But through it I've learned that my compassion is one of my best qualities and I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't show that compassion. I also did a powerful meditation in which I actually traveled to someone to whom I wanted to send love and healing energy. I'm finding that this is one of my strengths as a witch.

Wishing you all a safe and happy week ahead. Blessed be.

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 11:19 PM | Comments (1)

May 6, 2006

Pagans: Get Involved or Else!!!

This is reposted from Street Prophets with the author's permission.

by Taliesin Athor Govannon

Political non-involvement by Pagans and Wiccans is an issue that I have long taken issue with. I have, for a long time, thought that non-involvement in the political sphere within Paganism was dangerous, and now, with the events of the day, feel justified with that concern.

I whole heartedly agree with the idea that a Democracy is like raising a child, that it takes great care, and yes, involvement, to make it a healthy, thriving entity. Unlike a child, however, there is no time where one can breathe a sigh of relief and let it go into the world. No, good government is an ever-growing thing, and even a short period of neglect can bring disastrous results.

Nowhere is that more obvious than the viability of a minority population. We, as Wiccans and Pagans, are a minority in this culture, rapidly growing numbers or not. We are outnumbered and outspent by just about every other religious class in the country, and must pay attention to what's going on to assure our continued safety and freedom.

Freedom...that's a word that's bandied about quite often in our culture, but how often do we really think about what it means, or how tenuous it really is? Just because we have constitutional guarantees means nothing...the consitiution is an evolving document, and change can both hurt and help us. Just because we have past constutional victories does not mean that those decisions cannot be undone by the courts, or severly curtailed by the legislature. Just as bad decisions about slavery and women's rights have been reversed, so too can liberating decisions be re-thought by those in Washington who disagree with our existance and basic civil liberties.

Today, an entire political party (the Republicans) is in the back pocket of religious extremists who would love to outlaw our very existance. That they have not done more in the past five years to do this is more chance than destiny. In many ways, we in the Pagan community have been fortunate that the Fundamentalists have been more obsessed by homosexuality than they have about Witchcraft. Had they not had the spectre of gay marrage to freak out about, who knows what they might have attempted? Now, our fortune has been borne on the backs of our friends of the gay community, and this is tragic...we owe them our support. However, don't think that this distraction will last forever, for the forces of the religious reich...er, right...may some day decide to stop banging their collective heads against the stalwart of gay civil liberties and come after us. It could happen at any time.

Politics, as corrupt and disappointing as it can be, is the way our culture is organized and run. Like it or not, we cannot sit it out. We are a part of this culture, and decisions made in our legislatures effect every part of our lives, seen or unseen. Don't believe that our government can turn on us? Ask Japanese Americans who were herded into concentration camps during World War Two. Ask African Americans who are slaughtered by racist forces within police departments every day in this country. Ask gay people who were in danger of being prosecuted for years just because of the way they made love with their significant others (until the Supreme Court finally struck down anti-sodomy laws last year).

Public rituals...the rights of our children to not be harassed in school for their religion...the rights to sell and buy Pagan/Wiccan books...Pagan festivals...the rights of parents to raise their children in their religion without sanction from Children's Services...housing rights...rights against workplace discrimination...the right to worship in our homes...all these and more are things that some in the extreme Christian right would love to challenge us on. All of these things are rights that could be challenged directly, or behind the scenes bureaucratically.

Think for a moment...think about how different your life as a Pagan in the 21st century would be if these rights were taken away. Think how difficult it would be to live as you are now. Think politics are hard to understand or effect? Just think how hard it would be to do what we do if we had to really go underground.

Of course, some say that what I fear could never happen, that we have rights. They say that we can always challenge any discrimination in court, and that we have precedent on our side. Well, they may be right, but isn't it easier to assure that bad laws are never passed rather than to try and overturn them after they become law?

Here's a scenario for you...let's say that the local CSB does decide to take away your children because you're raising them Wiccan, and fundies have convinced them that Wiccans are child-abusing satanists who rape and murder babies. They can take your children first, and justify their actions to a court later. You get the ACLU on your side, and take them to court. But local politicians have installed fundies all throught the court system, and disinterested voters have allowed extremist judges to be elected in the lower courts. You challenge, lose, appeal, lose, take it a higher court, lose, appeal, and then finally find a Federal judge who was appointed before Reich Marshall Bush was in office (and thus wasn't a fundie appointed to mollify his facist masters) to decide in your favour. Your kids are returned, and you have "won".

Only, to do all this takes time. The full review process, court hearings, appeals, etc. involved takes two years (not unheard of). During that time, your children were housed with fundie foster "parents" who have been mentally abusing your children. They have been told that you were evil, that you wanted to kill them, that you were going to send them straight to hell. They have been in fundie churches, been tied down and beaten to "exorcise" the demons you placed in them (again, all too possible these days), had their self-image torn down, and terrified for years. You get them back, sure...and will probably spend years trying to undo the damage. They may never fully recover, and may live in terror of you for years. But, dammit, you won your case!

This all supposing that you ever find that judge who will listen. This is all supposing that you have the money (or can get the donations) to fight in Federal court. This is all supposing that some "God fearing" type doesn't try to run you off the road "to protect the children". Your family is in shambles, your finances are ruined, you've lost everything, and your children are emotionally scarred. Some victory.

We live in a very wealthy country. Even our poor people often have cars, colour TV's, VCRs, etc. In such a wealthy nation, it's easy for many to throw up their hands and say "politics aren't worth my time...I have too much to do to get involved." But, for those who are in the minority, we don't have this luxury. Every right we have must be defended, and vigilance must be exercised in every decision we make in the voting booth (not going into the voting booth isn't even an option).

We must be educated, we must exercise our rights and discharge our duties as citizens. To fail to do so makes our fitfulness to have those rights suspect.

Again, want an example? Right now, our armed forces are stuck in an unjust war, being slaughtered by the whim of a politician who never had the balls to fight. Well folks, right now there are Pagans in those very armed forces!!! They have fought like hell to have their rights as Wiccans and Pagans respected by those very armed forces, and right now their lives are in danger. I don't know if any Pagans have died in Iraq yet, but it's just a matter of time if not.

One of the things we like to hold up to prove our legitimacy as a religion to the public is the Army Chaplin's handbook that recognises Wicca and Paganism as a valid religion. We waive it as proof that even the government recognises our right to practice our faith. That is only in there because Wiccans and Pagans felt called to serve. They have even endured having a member of congress (Rep Bob Barr) call them "unfit to serve".

They have done much to give us legitimacy in the eyes of ordinary Americans. And now, their very lives are threatened by the policies of an illegitimate President installed in a Judicial coup d'etat. We owe them our involvement. We owe them our voices. We owe them our magick.

Yes, we must vote, educate ourselves, speak out, and perform magick. We must use every means at our disposal to protect our right and their lives. If we really believe that this magick stuff is real, then we must not forsake it as a means to achieve our ends. It cannot replace other things (education, action, voting, etc), of course, but it must be one of the meathods we use. That is, unless we're just play-acting this whole Witch thing.

A differance of just 120,000 votes in the 2004 elections could have changed everything. In a country of over 300 million people, that's a pretty small number. Every one of our Pagan asses in a voting booth (making the right choice) could have done a lot. Educating our friends could have, as well. Magick to stop vote-rigging in Ohio is another thing (they can try to steal the election, but we can monkey-wrench their plans too).

Religious freedom may be a right, but it has to be defended vigorously. We are in greater danger now than we have ever been, with the party of Pat Robertson and James Dobson in Power. As Ben Franklin said: we must hang together, or we will most assuredly be hanged separately.

Email Taliesin

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 10:24 AM | Comments (1)