I told this story in a post on another blog I read when the question was asked if anyone had had any spiritual/supernatural experiences (it's not a pagan blog, so you'll have to forgive the supernatural reference). Someone commented that I must be an "A-one broadcaster" and I realized that she's right!
A few years ago, while I was living in San Francisco, I had been dating someone who I was convinced was THE ONE. I was very much in love. The day after I got back from a business trip, where I got the sickest I have ever been in my life, he broke up with me. I was devastated. I couldn't eat and lost 30 pounds in one month. My heart was shattered. Shortly after this happened, my best friend from college, who was living with me at the time, got an email from my childhood best friend and high school boyfriend. He said that he had been trying to find me and found her because she mentioned me in a post she made on an alumnae website. He asked her to forward his contact info to me. So I got in touch with him. He said he had a dream about me and the next day he knew he had to find me. We had lost touch and hadn't had any contact in over 10 years! Then, I was at a dinner party at a friend's house. One of her other guests (whose mother was a voodoo priestess in Haiti) had called her up to say that he had a vision of one of her friends and that he needed to come to the party. He described the person in his vision and she told him, that's Angela. He told me that he had a message for me; the message was that everything was going to be okay. He said I should get some green beads because he had seen me wearing them in the vision. So I bought a peridot necklace. I wore it without taking it off for a few weeks, including while I was on vacation on Nantucket. On the airplane back to San Francisco after my vacation, I met a man and we fell in love.
I believe without any doubt that when my heart was broken so badly I was sending some sort of cry for help out into the universe. My old friend Steve picked up on it because we had been so close. And Garrett picked up on it because he had the ability to and we were connected through my friend. I also believe that we all have the ability to psychically connect when we need to and if we can tap into that energy within ourselves.
Something finally clicked in my head about what my teacher, Christopher Penczak, had been saying about how even the thoughts we have are powerful and can have consequences for us. I realized that if I have the kind of power to broadcast to people far away from me - and whom I've never met! - then imagine what I'm broadcasting through my thoughts to the people in my every day life!
Whenever I'm unhappy in a job - and unfortunately this has been true more than once - I have a tendency to be very vocal to anyone who will listen about whatever the source of my unhappiness is. A coworker, a boss, etc. I've been very fortunate to always have a job, but in the last couple of years I've been struggling to find something that would truly make me happy.
When this lightbulb moment about broadcasting came to me, I realized how much negativity I've been manifesting by letting my negative feelings about work get control over me. I'd been stewing in it and broadcasting it to the world! No wonder I was having a difficult time finding a job that would make me happy!
Christopher taught us to neutralize these kinds of thoughts:
Telling ourselves that we must take responsibility for our actions is one thing, but doing it on a daily basis is quite another, particularly if we were not raised in an environment that encouraged such behavior. We all carry around little programs that influence us, the instructions based on our learned behaviors. One way of combating these programs is through our use of affirmation. Another way is to actively deprogram and reprogram ourselves through neutralization.
We can never take back anything we say. If you are ever in a heated argument, you know this. Once it is out of your mouth, it is into the universe for all to hear and react to, as in the Principle of Cause and Effect. The only way we can stop the damage of our words, in a metaphysical sense at least, is to neutralize all harmful words, intentions, and energy. Neutralization is a mental process whereby we consciously send a thought out to ground and cleanse our previous actions. It is as easy as saying "I neutralize that," or imagining an X over any image you hold in your mind. I used to think that neutralization was exclusive to witchcraft, but I have found that reiki masters, shamans, and tarot readers often use this technique as well.
from The Inner Temple of Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak
Recently, I've had some great fortune with a new job and some new freelance work. I put a lot of energy into getting this work, but I'm sure than my realization that I was manifesting negative things through my negative thoughts and words had something to do with it too. I stopped bitching about a boss I didn't like and I felt a lot less negative. I made room for good job energy to come in because I wasn't constantly surrounding myself with bad.
Every day I'm trying to be more mindful of what I think and say. And I'm taking Christopher's advice to follow anything I regret with "I neutralize that."
Posted by Angela-Eloise at 7:33 AM
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