My mother comes from a family of Southern Baptists. I have seen a lot of hypocritical and sometimes downright hateful stuff coming from them under the guise of religion. That, and numerous intellectual inconsistencies, turned me off Christianity at a pretty early age. For a very long time I have been agnostic. I believed that there was some sort of force/power/energy in the universe but I wasn't sure what it was exactly - and to be truthful, I didn't spend an awful lot of time thinking about it. Over the past couple of years, I have grown more and more interested in pagan ideas of spirituality. I have done massive amounts of reading and have begun to study witchcraft. I consider myself a student and am still searching for my path.

There have been a few deities to whom I have felt a connection - Ganesh and Brigid being the two most meaningful (you see that I'm pretty cross-pantheon at this point). But right now, I don't have faith in any gods or goddesses in the sense of faith that most Christians feel for their god or that some other posters say they have for their gods and goddesses. In fact, I feel a bit squeamish about the idea of the God and Goddess as creators of the universe. I think this is due to my very negative feelings about Christianity and organized religion in general. Maybe my feelings will change as I advance through my studies and practice.

Right now, for me, deities are the energy of the universe manifesting as beings who hold domain over certain aspects of life. I want to embrace an eclectic pantheon of gods and goddesses to support me in my magickal arts. I believe that Ganesh, as the remover of obstacles, has guided me and helped through some difficult periods over the past couple of years. I invoke him a lot. Brigid, as the goddess of creativity, seems to have been guiding me throughout my whole life, as I am a creative person and feel that part of myself to be one of the most important parts of my personality and character. As I get further into my magickal studies, I'm feeling more and more drawn to her.

On the question of faith, I do have faith that the universe is supporting me. There have been too many things that have happened to me - instances of "coincidence" or "fortune" - for me to believe otherwise. One of the reasons that witchcraft appeals to me is that it is a way to connect to the energy of the universe in a meaningful, directed and intent-filled way.

A question that I have been asking myself is: am I a Wiccan? I think it's too soon to tell. As I said, I'm still not comfortable with the "religion" label. To take a description I've read that feels most appropriate for me, I would say that I identify as a Green Witch - at this stage I see myself more as a practitioner of folk magick than a follower of Wicca as a formal religion.

Posted by Angela-Eloise at 3:50 PM